Video Transcript
Edmund: Did you know that in the Sacrament of Matrimony, the persons who are receiving the sacrament are also the persons who minister this sacrament to one another? This is why wedding vows are so important, so let’s talk about it. One of my favorite parts of a wedding is the exchanging of vows, and a lot of people think that it’s the priest or deacon who “marries the bride and groom.” Now a priest or deacon has to be present in order for the marriage to be valid, but they’re actually just witnessing the free consent of the two spouses one to another. The ministers of the sacrament are actually the bride and groom. Now, every sacrament has two elements matter and form. Matter is loosely the element or the material, and form is the words or actions. For many sacraments, the matter is something physical like water or wine or unleavened bread. But for the Sacrament of Matrimony, the matter is actually the mutual consent of the bride and groom to one another and their commitment to live in a lifelong, faithful union and marriage. So the matter takes on the form of a spoken vow. This sounds something like, I take you to be my wife so-and-so. Or sometimes the priest says the vow, do you take so-and-so to be your wife and the bride or groom will respond? I do. These vows spoken publicly in front of the Church are the real heart of the Sacrament of Matrimony, and the fact that they’re spoken publicly is a really important part of the vows and the sacrament. So when you attend a wedding, the real heart of the celebration of the Sacrament of Matrimony is when the bride and groom publicly proclaimed their vows in front of the Church. The Church calls this exchange of vows consent, meaning it’s an act of the will of a man or woman to freely give themselves in marriage and to receive the gift of their spouse. And the marriage can’t happen without this declaration of consent. The Catechism reminds us in paragraph 1626, “The Church holds the exchange of consent between the spouses to be the indispensable element that makes the marriage.”
If consent is lacking, there is no marriage. Catholic wedding vows are usually proceeded by three questions from the priest or deacon so-and-so and so-and-so: have you come here to enter into marriage without coercion freely and wholeheartedly? Are you prepared as you follow the path of marriage to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live? Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church? And the bride or groom respond I have or I am. But there are also other options. The order for celebrating the sacrament matrimony offers four options for Catholic wedding vows. The standard version goes like this. The groom says, I name take you name to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. Well, and depending on the country you live in, the conference of bishops might allow some alternatives. So why can’t couples write their own wedding vows? The Catholic Church actually has some really good reasons for sticking to some standard wedding vows. One of the ways the Church expresses unity of all believers is through the unity of essential parts of the sacraments. In other words, it would be kind of hard to recognize the unity of the Church if everyone all over the world used different words for the most essential part of the liturgy, the Mass. By using the vows provided to them by the Church, the couple is actually acknowledging something larger than themselves. They’re acknowledging the unity of the body of Christ, the Church. The vows are important because they are the matter of the sacrament and the form is the consent given between the man and woman and the bride and groom are the ministers of this sacrament to each other in front of the priest or deacon, and all of the body of Christ gathered representing the Church. These vows are given publicly in front of the body of Christ. The vows are a public declaration of this unconditional, lifelong fruitful love that a man and woman, a husband and wife, vow to each other. And it reflects the love of Christ for his Church because in the Sacrament of Matrimony, a man and woman are called to the love and union of spouses that reflects the blessed life of the Trinity.
